What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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