The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize