Christians are straight up FREAKS
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
