I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
