I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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