I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I forget how to act sober
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
