weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
