She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
