matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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