Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
