Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize