heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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