his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
