no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
