How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
