mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
