why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
