dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Green mimosas i think yes
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
