I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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