Betty ford says i'm here all night
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize