I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
