ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize