Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
