I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
