ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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