Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
