she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
