PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize