But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
