pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
