The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
