Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
