yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
