you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Im part way to drunk.
We are all done wearing pants today
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Randomize
