I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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