She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Randomize
