It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize
