Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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