spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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