My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize