her vagine was all disorganized.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
