whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
