All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
