Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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