i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize