the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
