I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
