Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
