I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
