Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize