He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
