in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
