went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
