The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
