I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
