Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i just sent this text using only my big toe
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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