There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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