remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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