Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
