dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
