You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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