Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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