very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
