weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
So vagazzling was a success
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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