i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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